Sorry. I just remembered that fuck is a bad word. Anyway...
Joseph, I love you. I really want you to know that, but it might freak you out and we might never be friends again. Which would suck. I would probably cut myself if you broke up with me and we weren't friends. Or I would commit suicide.
Damn. I can't reply on him for everything. If I think he's my husband, I'm wrong. He probably doesn't even like me that much. That sort of thinking depresses me but makes me think about how little anyone cares about me.
Speaking of which, Ariana is mad at me again. I don't even know why. She gets mad at me for about a week and then she acts normal and like nothing happened. I don't know; that's about the only character flaw she has. That and she has no respect for how I feel. She acts like she hates me half the time, and it hurts. I hate her for it, but if she and I grow apart, I'll have nothing. That's how much I rely on her, and she doesn't even know. She doesn't care, if she does know.
That sort of thing really pisses me off. She doesn't care about how I feel. She probably never cared about how I feel. She doesn't care what I want of her, she just cares about what she wants me to do for her.
Which pisses me off to no end. I can't talk to her about it because she would tell me I'm being oversensitive and get even more mad at me, because she thinks I criticize her too much. So I'm stuck fuming on the website while she remains pissed at me for no reason. Fuck. I'm going to cry. She doesn't care about me. Why should she?
Angst.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Once you showed me that life was worth living,
But you never showed me that you’re worth forgiving.
But you never showed me that you’re worth forgiving.
