So What if You can See the Darkest Part of Me?

Snow=Warmer Winters

2010-12-01T12:15:00.001-08:00

Yeah, you read that right.

For some reason, whenever it isn't snowing and it's effing cold outside, it seems a lot (A LOT) colder than when it's snowing.

I have several theories to why this is:
1-Perhaps it is because I am so intrigued by the white shit coming from the sky that I can no longer focus on the actual reason it's coming; it's cold.
2-The cold no longer can dampen my spirit because snow means winter and winter means my birthday AND Christmas, which is pretty much awesome in every which way.
3-At one point, it can get TOO cold to snow, apparently, so maybe it's because I've found my happy medium weather-wise and have nothing to complain about.
4-I am so sick of the cold weather that now I have something to be happy about while it's cold, therefore making it less frightening and sadnessmaking.

Whatever the reason, when I stepped outside this morning to go to school, I was prepared for an icy blast of cold air. Not so; I recieved a mildly cool albiet wet breeze as I was walking to the car. Whoa.

Mindscrew.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ If you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.

I feel a little bad about this...

2010-11-21T14:20:00.000-08:00

Agent [Nathanael] is ready to assist you.
Nathanael: Hello
Me: Okay, hi, [Nathanael].
Nathanael: How are you today?
Me: Em, okay.
Me: Been better.
Nathanael: Good, glad to hear it.
Nathanael: Sorry thingks aren't going super well, though.
Me: It's not bad. Like, I totally don't have a maggot hole in my belly or anything.
Me: That would be bad.
Me: Time nine
Me: or ten.
Me: Depending on if you like bugs or not.
Nathanael: True.
Me: Anyway, on to the epic question!
Me: It's not really epic, I've just been wondering this for a long time...
Me: Does God love everyone?
Me: Like, everyone everyone? Or does He love some people more than others?
Nathanael: Yes, He does. BUt don't confuse that to mean that God's love robs His justice, which it doesn't.
Me: Well, like, if I went and killed someone RIGHT NOW, God would still love me as much as he does right now?
Nathanael: God would still love you. IF you were to go and kill someone right now you wouldn't be able to live in God's kingdom, but that doesn't mean that God doesn't love you. He does, but because He is perfectly just you would not be able to live with God if you murdered somone.
Nathanael: someone*
Me: Well, doesn't God control the world and stuff? So technically, He would've made me kill someone? So it's that a little unfair...to punish me for something He told me to do?
Nathanael: Actually, we don't believe God controls our actions. You do.
Nathanael: Meaning you control your own actions. haha.
Me: Ah. I see. So...what if someone ate a puppy or something? Then what? Because that's still murder.
Nathanael: Well, God put all the beasts and living things on the earth for the use of man, and He has commandments concerning that usage in many cases.
Nathanael: If you are killing the dog just for the sake of killing the dog, that's not a good idea. However, if you need food and you kill the dog to eat, then God is fine with it.
Me: So you can't eat a puppy? Would you get struck down by holy lightning for the mere thought of it?
Me: Well, if you can kill a dog to eat a dog, what if you killed a man for the sake fo becoming a cannibal?
Nathanael: Well, I would answer that, except if I did, then I would be struck down for thinking about it. :)
Me: I see what you did there,
Me: NO. but seriously?

Nathanael: hahaha. The problem with your analogy is that humans weren't put on the earth for hte use of man, but animals were.
Me: If I woke up one day and I was like 'Hey, I want to be a cannibal' I couldn't kill a man?
Nathanael: No, you couldn't.
Me: Drat.
Me: What about becoming a vampire?
Me: I mean, technically, you wouldn't be using a human. You'd just be leeching their blood.
Nathanael: Hahahaha. Nice. I like your creativity. :)
Me: No, man, like, I'm serious.
Me: And technically, people DO use other people, obviously against God's wishes. Must I remind you of the slavery?
Me: Or sex?
Nathanael: And both are not condoned by God.
Me: Slavery isn't condoned by God!?!?!?
Me: That's shit!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ If you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.

My belly button is quite itchy.

2010-11-12T12:20:00.000-08:00

True story, bro.

That is all.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ If you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.

For your Viewing Pleasure...

2010-11-09T14:28:00.001-08:00

Here is a randomly googled picture of Tobin Bell:

And...aw, what the hell? Here's Morgan Freeman(!):

And Edi Gathegi. Because he's awesome. And his scarf is sexy:

Wheeeeee! *God, I'm creepy....... :( *

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If you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.

Surreal art: the mindscrew of the artist world.

2010-11-09T12:31:00.000-08:00

I mean--shit man, really? We're doing *research* projects on surrealist artists and artwork and I have one thing to say about it:

MIND. SCREW.

It was a terrifying experience to say the least, having to look up dozens and dozens and dozens and dozens and dozens and dozens and dozens AND DOZENS AND DOZENS AND DOZENS AND DOZENS AND DOZENS AND DOZENS AND DOZENS AND DOZENS AND-

*shot with granddaddy of all tranquilizer darts*

...

A lot of surreal pictures. And let me tell you, surreal is not nearly as calm and happy as it sounds, especially when it comes to the art form of it. Salvador Dali himself was a big enough mindscrew; did he really have to push the envelope by making ART about strangeness?

Whew. I had fun playing with the the fonts and colors in this one. *smileface*

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If you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.

You're curious, aren't you?

2010-11-07T10:20:00.000-08:00

Saw Easy A about three days ago. It took about three months of waiting, a twenty minute car ride and a crazy expensive (not really, but I didn't like paying for it) movie ticket, but I SAW IT! *God, I’m creepy…*

It was a good movie and was the most exciting thing of my week. Also, we got about three flakes of snow on Friday. So that was cool too…pun unintended.

It had Thomas Haden Church in it. Pretty much blew my mind.
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If you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.

Look at last night's post. Now back to this post.

2010-11-06T07:18:00.000-07:00

Add Thomas Haden Church to that list of pretty middle-aged guys. I'm not even kidding. That guy's attractive for 50.
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If you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.

Clay Aiken has the ultimate sexy voice.

2010-11-05T15:02:00.000-07:00

For. Cereal.

Anyway, Karen said that i have to post on my blog. So I'm posting on my blog. Callooh, callay, O frabjous day!

Ahem.

On another note. I'm pretty sure I friended my middle-school stalker on facebook yesterday. It's exceedingly awkward to see him commenting on everything I post.

Rhys Ifans, I would just like to say, is exceedingly sexy for a 43 year old man. He has been added to my list of sexy elderly men, which are as following:

Morgan Freeman (age 73, oldpants)
Tobin Bell (age 68)
Anthony Hopkins (age 72)
Jack Nicholson (age 73, at least when he was younger...now I'm not so sure, but whatever...)
Edi Gathegi (age 31)

No, but really? I didn't even know that Rhys was a real name. I know need to have another child when I'm older and name him such...or not. If I ever had a kid, I'd like his name to be Tobin Rhys *insert last name* because Tobin Bell kicks ass and how many Rhys have you met? I mean, really?
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If you can't handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.

Hally Happoween!

2010-10-31T12:09:00.000-07:00

Scratch that. Reverse it.

Happy Halloween, all! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Once you showed me that life was worth living,But you never showed me that you’re worth forgiving.

Horses are Impossible!

2010-10-29T12:47:00.000-07:00

Last Saturday, my friend Emma took me, Patti and another girl to a farm to help out with some horses, llamas, goats, chickens, ducks, horses, dogs, and two potbelly pigs. After that was all done, the owners of the farm allowed us to ride one of the kinder horses.

Kinder my FOOT.

In the beginning, we thought it was just the fact that we were in a tiny pen and not in an open space for the horse to start to move. She stubbornly stood by the gate to the circular pen, staring remorsefully out the bars. One of us had to brave entering the pen, dismounting our perches on top of the ten-foot-high fence to take the halter of the horse and lead it swiftly around the pen once or twice to get her going.

The first girl was incorrigible about riding the horse, which annoyed me to no end. As Patti, Emma and I watched wistfully from the top of the fence, she insisted on taking a ridiculously long amount of time getting the horse going; a good forty-five minutes. When she finally dismounted, looking pouty and upset, Emma took her turn. At that point, we decided that it would be best to attempt to release the horse in the open pasture to see if she would speed up, Emma atop her. After all, if she ran wild, we’d be able to hear Emma’s screams anywhere on the farm.

The horse was better outside, where she could run around. The problem was that she indeed ran around—where she wanted. This horse was massive and extremely difficult to control, giving the fact that the reins were not actually attached to a bit in her mouth but simply a halter around her face. Therefore, attempting to turn her sharply was like trying to make a dog mush with his lead.

When Emma had had her fill of horse, it was my turn. Finally my turn. After finally clamoring unceremoniously and maladroitly onto the horse’s back, I clicked my tongue and kicked her sides for a very long time. Finally, after tiny leetle Patti took the halter and gave her a push, the horse was off at a terrifyingly swift trot. She looped around the house…and stopped. I steered her around with difficulty, clicked my tongue and kicked a lot (it was the professional, horse-related version of a temper-tantrum) and she went back to her frightening fast speed, followed ludicrously by three much smaller, pink children. When we reached the pen, she stopped again.

I feel now I should note that this horse was very large (much larger than me) and there was a lack of bit in her mouth. In most cases with horses, when you gently tug the reins in the direction you wish the horse to go, it was willingly and excitingly comply, hoping to be rewarded by a treat of sorts. This horse, as impossible as she was, refused to move upon tiny commands; I was required to dramatically throw all my meager weight into the reins, nearly dethroning me from the saddle, in order to move her in the various directions I wished. Often, this did not work.

Indeed, this horse seemed to require an alarming amount of commands to merely turn around. I tried clicking my tongue while throwing my force into the reins, which got her head and most of her body to turn vaguely in the correct direction. Often, her massive head would move and nothing else, and then she would return to her previous position, staring out into lawn, wishing to eat the grass she was being stubbornly denied.

I’ll finish this when I get home from getting the necessary materials for my badass Halloween costume.
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Once you showed me that life was worth living,But you never showed me that you’re worth forgiving.

Hi, Olivia.

2010-10-19T15:12:00.000-07:00

I luh u.

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Once you showed me that life was worth living,But you never showed me that you’re worth forgiving.

My mother is a pain.

2010-10-17T09:50:00.000-07:00

Seriously. She's a pain sometimes. Worse than any stupid girl in my school, worse than my sister who has a habit of blowing up at me when she does something wrong, worse than all the stupid people in the world combined. Because she's an idiot. She pisses me off sometimes so much that I want to throw things at her.

Why?

Because she's stupid. That's why. She annoys the shit out of me sometimes. She'll tell me to do something, I do it, and then she shrieks at me like I just invaded China. What the hell, Mom, seriously. What the hell?

I don't hate her. I don't think she should go die. She's just an idiot who always has to be right and when she's not, she takes it out on her kids because she's too much of a child to cope with anything correctly. She's a child. That's all she is. It annoys me to death.

She also judges everything. Not that it's bad to judge something when you've told you children than you mustn't ever judge or anything *sarcasm*. She judges me, my friends, my writing and everything I do. And she isn't nice about telling me about stuff I do that she dislikes. She's a bitch, always telling me what I need to do and what I can't do anymore. I don't give a flying fuck about what she wants me to do in life.

She pisses me off. That is all.
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Once you showed me that life was worth living,But you never showed me that you’re worth forgiving.

Painting Skills. I has them.

2010-10-14T13:17:00.001-07:00

Pfffffft---

Not really. But we're painting in art class. I'm pretty good at, like, drawing abstract things because...well, really, no one's BAD at drawing abstract things. If you are, you have failed epically at life and I can no longer be friends with you. *shun*

Where was I going with that? Oh yeah. Art class--painting abstract things. Well, we're painting Op Art, which is the kind of art that is a major mindscrew. Sometimes when I look at it, I think I'm high on...air? Computer screen-tainted air! But anyway, I'm good at it. I'm pretty good at designing it. Fairly. I'll upload a picture of the picture I painted just as soon as it comes back to me. And I must say it looks...like a xylophone gone HORRIBLY wrong. But maybe that's how I want it. Or not. I'm not sure. I just doodled it and my art teacher was like 'Oooh, I like that!'

So poof. I made the f*cked up xylophone-doodle my art project. That's cool, thought, because it's simple and easy to do and...and yeah. The only problem is this:

SOMEONE HERE CAN'T PAINT WORTH SHIT!

How do we remedy this? By using a REEEEAALLLLY little paintbrush and a really little amoun of paint and taking a lot of time to do it. Even though I'm *done* while some people have only just started...Shut up, I gave it a shot!

In other news. I cannot really draw people. This is truly the extent of my power down here. His name is Wonka. That is all.

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Once you showed me that life was worth living,But you never showed me that you’re worth forgiving.

VeggieTunes are good for the soul.

2010-10-10T07:13:00.000-07:00

On the day that I turned eight I got my lips caught in a gate. My friends all laughed. And I just stood there until the fire department came and broke the lock with a crowbar and I had to spend the next six weeks in lip rehab with this kid named Oscar who got stung by a bee, right on the lips, and we couldn't even talk to each other until the fifth week because our lips were so swollen, and when he did start speaking he just spoke Polish and I only know like threewords in Polish except now I knew four because Oscar taught me the Polish word for lip. Woosta!

Your friends all laughed...Woosta. How do you spell that?

I don't know.

Shut up. Don't even doubt the healing powers of VeggieTunes.
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Once you showed me that life was worth living,But you never showed me that you’re worth forgiving.

Ugh.

2010-10-09T07:33:00.000-07:00

And this isn't a rant. I guess it's not. Is it? I have no idea. That was kind of a rant. Sort of? Yes.

Ahem....

I don't remember what I was going to talk about.
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Once you showed me that life was worth living,But you never showed me that you’re worth forgiving.

Novel Rant-------GO!

2010-09-29T13:10:00.000-07:00

[rant]
I realized the other day that I have a bad habit of killing off characters that I base off my friends. Well, I didn't just realize it. It's been a slow-moving epiphany that had been building up over time in the back of my mind and likes to crop up whenever I'm writing my book.

I didn't realize it because I have a bad habit of killing of characters anyway. Like, if I can't get anywhere with my novel, I'll kill someone, and that usually gets the juices flowing again. The only problem with that is that it's usually a character that I'll need to use at a later date...so I have to reevaluate where my novel is going.

It's a stressful process.

Not as stressful as creating characters. I have an issue with making all my characters alike. I'm just fine with making very diverse characters--personality-wise, visually, mentally and verbally--but I have a problem with myself and the book if I get a handful of characters that are too much alike. And then I get to the point where I don't want to make too many characters (too late for that whoops) and then things get very confusing, even for me. I balance this by killing off characters.

Wow. A vicious cycle.

Think about it for a second. The book is about werewolves. There aren't enough of them left for them to just sit around sipping tea and chatting; that's why they mate early and have pups as soon as possible. They have a genetic incentive to find their mate and breed as soon as possible. Their lifespans don't give much room for other things. They're not like fruit flies, who are born and die the same day, but they probably won't live to 110. More like 60, if they're really good. Most wolves--true, feral ones--die before they hit their thirties; they just fight too much.

And of course they want their line to continue. You know...have male or female pups to keep your name and your blood alive; also a genetic incentive.

And then there's the whole human/werewolf problem. At first I didn't want to let it happen; you'd have little mutated babies with seven tongues and extra limbs and the likes. But then I decided that lycanthropes just have a diffrent gene pool than humans do. It's like saying a black guy and an Asian woman couldn't have children. Similar genetic but still from diffrent areas with diffrent genetic codes. That was a big thing for me.

Then again, when a pup is born out of one of two parents and is lycanthropic, they're a mutt, and they're frowned upon the werewolf comminuty. They aren't clean, because humans have hunted them for hundreds of years and made up terrible tales about them and cut off their heads. Of course, werewolves have been preying upon humans and telling myths about them and eating them for hundreds of years too, so the whole 'Humans are slaughterers' isn't really a fair idea. But if you've never been around humans, or are raised hating them, a lycanthrope just hates them for a rule.

And then there's the big problem that ties this post in a circle about pups being bred. There are purebred pups, like an African male with an African female to create an African pup, and then there are the mixed breeds, which are less common, like an African male and a Portlander female having a...Africander pup. What in the...? I don't even know. But yeah, pure breads are pretty common, mostly because your pack is who you'll be spending your time with.

I don't know where that was going...
[/rant for now]
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Once you showed me that life was worth living,But you never showed me that you’re worth forgiving.

This was a triumph. I'm making a note here--huge success.

2010-09-29T12:46:00.001-07:00

Disregaurd that title, please.

It's been a long time. I'm sure all four of you who read this blog have been waiting with baited breath. Or not.

I'm not going to continue my rant about Eddie. I decided I was not in an Edward Cullen mood. He just...downs me. Makes me sad.

Instead, I'm going to talk about something we were talking about in a youth group last night. It's about God. If you don't care for God, shoo. Because this is about his feminine creation--women. I'm actually putting something deep on this blog; I hope you four people reading this will walk away thinking about it.

[rant]

We were talking about how women have a natural craving for relationships; contact with another human, usually a masculine one, and how our lives revolve around find a special someone and settling down and living with them for their life and being all happy and stuff like that. Curiously enough, I do not yet have this craving.

I don't mean to be argumentative. I just don't feel like everything I do should revolve around having a husband/boyfriend. That's not important to me, or at least it isn't the most important thing in my life right now. Would I like a boyfriend? Yes, that would be nice. But I don't. But I'm not obsessing over it. It's been months since my last boyfriend (last of a long line of two whole boys) and I'm just fine. I'm not concerned about finding a husband or my soulmate, especially not in friggin high school. That's not important in high school. It shouldn't be for anyone. Maybe not even in college.

Am I condemning girls whose lives revolve around their boyfriends? Of course not. But I am upset over the alarming way most females tend to obsess over everything their boyfriend does and they end up ostracised by friends and family because of how obsessive they are. I can't stand it when the inital sentance in a conversation is 'Guess what *insert boyfriend's name here* and I did ALLLLLLLLL day??'

You hung out. Hurp de derp. And truthfully? I don't give half a shit about what you and your boyfriend did ALLLLLLLLL day. Maybe if I ask you about it, it's free game, but don't come up to me a bellow about how much you love him, because chances are you don't and he doesn't love you.

God, I sound like I'm angry at heterosexual girls.

*deep breath*

I'm not. I just don't like listening to people getting emotional about a guy who they probably won't even remember in three years. Which beings me for a distaste of people wanting a boyfriend. Hell, I want a boyfriend. I do not want a player who likes to slap girls' behinds in the hallways to show off to their friends who don't even like them. And that is the majority of guys in the high school, especially in my grade. I demand respect from guys, which might be why I'm so unpopular. Whatever.

[/rant]

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Once you showed me that life was worth living,But you never showed me that you’re worth forgiving.

To the Bandwagon! Away!!

2010-08-10T10:22:00.000-07:00

Well, it's been a while since I've ranted. I know. You love them, don't you? My rants, I mean. I do at least. Well, it hasn't really been a long time. But screw it; I'M RANTIN'!

What am I ranting about? Edward. Cullen. :) *deep breath*

[rant]
For one, I would like to say that Edward Cullen is not NEARLY as bad as his whinning female counterpart, who is a horrifying train-wreck of a character. I would also like to alert everyone who reads this that I'm not a hater of Edward Cullen. Granted, I do not like Edward Cullen, but as far as characters go, he is not the most terrible creature I have ever seen (that would be Bella).

Okay. Let's get started, shall we? Starting with the first book. Edward sees Bella and, upon smelling her delciousness, makes a personal pact to never talk to her in hopes of never feeling bloodthirsty enough to want to eat her. That seems very responsible to me. I mean, if I went to a new school, the last time I would want is for some guy to welcome me by killing me dead and sucking out my delicious-smelling blood. As stubbornly antisocial as this smoking hot (as we are so often alerted), 118 year old vampire is, he is still the object of affection for several girls in his school. Well, that makes sense, doesn't it? I mean, a smoking hot guy is naturally popular among superficial high school girls, right?

Right.

Now, Edward tells Bella when they start hanging out that he's a dangerous guy and she should not spend time around him in worry for her life. Well, you know, if I was told that, I'd stay away from this guy. But no, Bella has to thrust herself onto him.

Our first inclination that Edward is a vampire is that he is cold. Have we forgotten that we're in Forks, Washington, where the sun rarely shines and therefore it is always cold. I don't know about you, but when it's cold outside, I get cold and therefore my body is chillingly cool. Does Bella not get cold when it's cold outside? Does she have some sort of superhuman strength to not get cold? Apperently so.

The next sign is that he's supah-fast and supa-strong. Right? He got between Bella and the van and stopped it, right (damn u, Edward! Daaaaamn u for stopping the van)? That's one of those...vampire things, right?

Sooooo...anyway, Edward likes Bella because she's:

Beautiful and
Her personality

I think in the transition between the book and the movie, we lost the...whole...personality thing. Because Bella is not personality-full in the movie. But I digress. So if she's as beautiful and personalityish as Edward makes her seem, she should think pretty highly of herself, because apperently she's intellegent as well. So why is she always beating down on herself? But since she does, Edward, being the good boyfriend he is, showers her with compliments.

Now. Edward comes to save Bella when she's stupid enough to walk into James' trap. He's a good boyfriend. He rips apart the guy who tries to kill her (damn u, Edward. Daaaaamn u for stopping the vampire), burns him and then sucks the damning poison out of his beloved's veins. Sounds like a good boyfriend to me. Right?

Second book. Edward puts Bella in danger, so therefore he feels compelled to avoid her. That makes sense to me. You know, if someone was going to kill my boyfriend in my family, I would want to keep the offender as far away from my BF as I can. That's what any sane person would do. So, of course, Edward leaves. He's desensitive to Bella so she won't love him anymore (ah-ha, Edward, sorry you failed at that. I'd be happy to get rid of her too) even when he still loves her so much that he's protecting ehr from a bloodthirsty vampire like he did back in the first book. So while Edward is gone, Bella spirals into a depression and eventually flings herself off a cliff...sadly, not to kill herself, but for the thrills so she can hear Edward's pretty voice in her head.

And therefore Edward tries to kill himself. I mean, he thought he'd killed his true love. I might shoot a couple of mickeys myself if I thought I killed my (nonexsitant) boyfriend. So him wanting to kill himself other than living his long, long life alone seems like a pretty good idea. And then, when Bella comes rushing back, he is eager to protect her.

[/rant] I'm bored now, so I might rant more later.
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Once you showed me that life was worth living,But you never showed me that you’re worth forgiving.

Jack? Jack Skelett? No, Jack Nicholson. REDRUM!!

2010-07-30T14:05:00.000-07:00

If you didn't notice from the title, I'm looking at a Jack Nicholson page on wikipedia. For some reason I have issues writing his last name, so I'm going to avoid it as much as possible.

I haven't seen a lot of movies with him in it, although I know he's been in a lot (thank you, wikipedia, for this information). I've seen One Flew Over the Cockoo's Nest (well...part of it. A middlish part. I kind of want to see the whole thing. I really want to see the whole thing), The Shining (ahem...REDRUM REDRUM REDRUM REDRUM REDRUM REDRUM) and two or three minutes of the Batman movie where he's the Joker. I haven't seen much of his stuff. well, it's not his stuff, exactly. It's actually the producer's stuff. But he's in it. Which makes him special. Not that he wasn't special before.

Ahem.
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Once you showed me that life was worth living,But you never showed me that you’re worth forgiving.

So I'm having this sort of day...

2010-07-14T13:18:00.001-07:00

I've been having a Disney marathon all day. I started with 101 Dalmatians, went on to Oliver in Company, then to Tarzan. At the moment, I'm watching Mulan (who has a widow's peak--thank you Miss McGill for teaching me about genetics). It's while the leader guy from the army is singing about all his soilders being weak and not able to be as all cool and badass as him.

Have you every noticed how the singers from Disney movies are much better singers than any of our social singers nowadays? (e.g.~BD Wong who plays Shang, the leader guy from the army is better than Justin Bieber by miles...or kilometers, depending on where you live).

By the way, I've noticed that every time I watch a Disney or Pixar movie, I noticed something new each time. For example, speaking of where you live, when I last watched Monsters, Inc, I was wondering how all the doors lined up so it was nighttime on the other side. I mean, right? It's not nighttime at the same time all around the world at once, right? Well, remember near the beginning, where we see a big map of the world before they start scaring? Well, yeah, that red line? That hilights where they're going to in the world. Never noticed that.

Oh! Also, there's one voice in every single Pixar movie created to date. It's the voice of John Ratzenberger. He's actually scary to look at. Like, he's pretty dern terrifying if you look at him. He's got crowsfeet. Not that wrinkles are scary. Ross had wrinkles for Jesus Christ Superstar this year, and Ross isn't scary. Well, not mostly.

Ahem.
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Once you showed me that life was worth living,But you never showed me that you’re worth forgiving.

Ahaha!

2010-06-29T11:44:00.000-07:00

So I changed a lot of stuff on my blog. Not really. But I changed the background and the setup of the general blog. So I'm AWESOME. Hu-ZAH!

On another note. I deleted Jaxon Asylum because I'm the only one who seems to use it anymore, which is terrible annoying and frustrating. I only got, like, 10 people to enter onto it, so I guess that's kind of the reason...and half of the people are no long in touch with me, so I guess that's one of the reasons.

Something about proboards. If you like to write and if you like to interact with other people, it's a lot of fun. Serious. Bella, this is directed to you, if you're reading this...I guess. It's like writing a story with another person. I remember that Dana tried to do something like that once. She was doing it with Jessica. Jessica has red hair.

Speaking of which, have you ever noticed how there are like 3 redheaded people in the average classroom? Did you know that redheads aren't supposed to have souls? Only about 1/2% of the human population has red hair. Pheomelanin is what gives red hair its color. Some people call red hair ginger hair.

But that doesn't make any sense. Because ginger is actually a brownish yellow color, not at all orange, so the name is kind of a misnomer. Like, if I said my friend had ginger hair, I would be referring to their hair being a brownish-yellowish color, kind of like mine. Except everyone else would think I meant that my friend had a bright orange color for hair. Do you see the problem here?

I got my hair cut. It's really short now. Technically it's blonde--I was born with blonde hair. But I think if I got a passport or something, or if I had to fill out a job application, people would think that I had brown hair. Which, okay, my hair is pretty brown. I can't really look at it because it's so short, but whatever. I define myself as blonde. Even if society refuses me the title of blonde, I REMAIN BLONDE.

Did you know that some people spell blonde without the 'e'? I see it in books and it freaks me out because then I'm like 'Argh! I've been spelling it wrong all my life!' But then I can type blonde with an 'e' in a computer and spellcheck won't put that little red squiggle under it, so I win (spellcheck also accepts blond).

Then again, spellcheck can be changed so not-real words are real to that computer. Like, Bshir isn't a real word, but it's a name of my character, and I get really neurotic when I have too many of those red squiggles on a page, so I just made it a real word on our spellcheck. Oh, did you know that spellcheck on my computer isn't accepted by spellcheck? It's hypocritical! I think my brain just exploded. Spellcheck is denying itself, so where does that leave it? It leaves it in limo.

By the way, whenever someone says limo, I always think of the game with the pole that you have to duck under. I'm bad at that game. It's because I'm not very flexible. I can't bent back that far. I also can't do the splits. I see people do the splits all the time, and I'm like 'I can do that' but I really can't....

...we've gone from Jaxon Asylum to doing the splits...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Once you showed me that life was worth living,But you never showed me that you’re worth forgiving.

bracing sigh

2010-05-23T05:39:00.000-07:00

I'm not sad anymore. At least not right now. It very refreshing.

Anyway. I have nothing to say this morning, but I thought everyone (ahemnoone) who reads this should know that I'm in an intensely good mood. I was in an amazing mood all week, even though I had no reason for it, and I didn't post for it. Nose!

Well, summer's coming up, so I might post more. Au vra!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Once you showed me that life was worth living,But you never showed me that you’re worth forgiving.

I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack.

2010-05-22T09:22:00.000-07:00

I don't think anyone actually reads this anymore, but whatever.

I'm extremely lonely. My two best friends left me...and I don't know why. I'm kind of dreading summer. At least in the high-school, I won't have to see them as much. I guess that's a good thing.

Craig got a girlfriend. I don't know how I feel about this. It's intensely confusing. I don't see him anymore, so there's really no point about feeling like I deserve more than a friendship with him, and yet I feel like I wanted to go out with him, for a time. It'd be too awkward though. Way too awkward.

I don't know about Joseph. I saw him a couple times in St. Louis, and we talked, and we were comfortable, and we we hugged and I was very happy. He made me feel happy. Usually I would talk to Ariana about this, but I can't now, obviously, so it's just been pooling around in my brain for a while. It's been a confusing year. Eighth grade has defiantly not been my favorite.

Nothing else much has been happening lately. I don't know. I kind of feel like I'm fading away. I don't have a lot to lean on now; I'm kind of on my own. I don't mean to sound like I'm trying to cut myself off from people. I'm not. But it's been an unnervingly long year. It feels longer than usual. It's because so much has been happening.

I don't know. I'm very confused. It's not fun to look at them anymore. It always hurts me when I do.

*sigh*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Once you showed me that life was worth living, But you never showed me that you’re worth forgiving.

Things are better now.

2010-05-01T11:31:00.001-07:00

It's been a really long time since I last posted. I remembered when I posted almost every day. I don't know...time's just getting away from me.

I've developed a lot as a writer, I think. I'm still trying to get a publisher, but it's hard to get my confidence back. Lately, it's kind of eroded. Joseph and I are friends again. It's still hard for me to talk with him like I did, but whatthehellever, I'm happy with him again.

On another note, Ashley now is acting as if I will never be her friend again. So lifes is pretty crappy right now.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Once you showed me that life was worth living,But you never showed me that you’re worth forgiving.

Something's diffrent...

2010-03-14T14:00:00.000-07:00

Wow. A lots changed since I last posted. Sadly, nothing's for the better. Well, one thing is. Or two. I don't know. I guess I'll list them because that's kind of why I decided to start posting again:

1. Joseph broke up with me. Over facebook. That bastard. He told me that it wasn't the same and that he was making out with another girl. Well, he never said that, but he implied it pretty heavily. So he broke up with me over facebook. He has no idea how much that hurt me. I cried for four and a half hours, and then I cut my arm open with a dull pocket knife. It took half an hour to get it to stop bleeding, and then I had to wear long-sleeve shirts for the rest of the week so no one saw the scar. I still have a patch of pink where I sawed my arm open over and over. I cried every day all week after he broke up with me, and then I cried some more this week. He won't even look at me. My 'friends' keep trying to make me feel better. They can't. I'm upset. He was my best friend. I really did love him. I know that sounds cliche and stupid, but I loved him. I've loved him since we were little, even if I didn't want to admit it. I loved him and he hurt me. He said he still wanted to be friends, but I don't think that can happen now. I don't think I can ever fully forgive him for leading me on. He did it for months. Months. Fuck... I cried at school. No one talked to me. Good. I don't want to me. My social studies teacher asked me what was wrong. I couldn't tell him. He wouldn't get it. I don't mean to sound like a stubborn teen when I say it. But he wouldn't get it. He wouldn't get all the crap I'm been going through right now. It would overload his brain. It's already overloaded mine.

2. My best friends, it seems, will never speak to me again. I've been crying because of her. She told me she never wanted to see me again. Over facebook. Ten minutes later, Joseph broke up with me over facebook. I don't hate the site; it's a good site. But neither of them had the balls to look at me and tell me they didn't like me. Is it that hard? Am I just so ugly that no one can stand to look at me? She's moved on. She's got better friends. She doesn't need me, the one who apparently is her 'best friend'. Fuck her. I hope she dies. I really do. She doesn't care about me. I need to stop caring about her. If I died, she'd dance on my grave. Her and Joseph should get together. They'd be a good bastard couple.

3. Dana's a whore. She's complaining about getting felt up by a boy she dated for a month. I dated Joseph for eight months and I didn't even kiss him.

4. My dad said we might move to England for two year. England. I don't want to go to England. If there's any chance of scraping a friendship anymore, I want to do it in my country. I want to be with my fair-weather friends, because they at least make me feel better about myself for now.

5. I'm hallucinating. I've been hallucinating for a long time, but I'm afraid to tell my parents. I don't want them to know. I told some people I trust and they don't want to be around me anymore. I don't know. Maybe there's something wrong with me. I should tell my school councilor. Not that she cares. But maybe she could get me some help. I like Quail, he's the only person who's really talking to me right now, but I want to get better.

6. I lie. All the time. I can't help it. I don't know why I do it. I'm really good at it, but it's not good that I do it. Maybe that's another problem I have.

I don't know. I'm lonely.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Once you showed me that life was worth living,
But you never showed me that you’re worth forgiving.

Gomenasai

2010-01-13T15:46:00.000-08:00

Fuck...

Sorry. I just remembered that fuck is a bad word. Anyway...

Joseph, I love you. I really want you to know that, but it might freak you out and we might never be friends again. Which would suck. I would probably cut myself if you broke up with me and we weren't friends. Or I would commit suicide.

Damn. I can't reply on him for everything. If I think he's my husband, I'm wrong. He probably doesn't even like me that much. That sort of thinking depresses me but makes me think about how little anyone cares about me.

Speaking of which, Ariana is mad at me again. I don't even know why. She gets mad at me for about a week and then she acts normal and like nothing happened. I don't know; that's about the only character flaw she has. That and she has no respect for how I feel. She acts like she hates me half the time, and it hurts. I hate her for it, but if she and I grow apart, I'll have nothing. That's how much I rely on her, and she doesn't even know. She doesn't care, if she does know.

That sort of thing really pisses me off. She doesn't care about how I feel. She probably never cared about how I feel. She doesn't care what I want of her, she just cares about what she wants me to do for her.

Which pisses me off to no end. I can't talk to her about it because she would tell me I'm being oversensitive and get even more mad at me, because she thinks I criticize her too much. So I'm stuck fuming on the website while she remains pissed at me for no reason. Fuck. I'm going to cry. She doesn't care about me. Why should she?

Angst.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Once you showed me that life was worth living,
But you never showed me that you’re worth forgiving.

Luna and Thana

2009-12-24T09:39:00.000-08:00

Luna: Mum! Mother! Ezekiel hates me; he's going out with someone else! Another girl!
Thana: *idly* So what does she have that you don't; a third breast?
Luna: Mother! A little tact, if you please!
Thana: I'm serious. What does this girl have that you don't?
Luna: *tearfully* A mother with sympathy!
Thana: Oh, well, good luck with that.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Once you showed me that life was worth living,
But you never showed me that you’re worth forgiving.

It's been a while....

2009-11-20T14:55:00.000-08:00

...and I guess that's my fault. But I've had no ambition to type lately, so I feel that my actions are fairly justified. I also have a very boring life. Which gives me perfect opportunities NOT to blog. So, yes, I have not yet died.

In case you were worried.

Which you weren't.

Because even Bella doesn't read my blog anymore.

Because she hates me.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Once you showed me that life was worth living,
But you never showed me that you’re worth forgiving.

New Moon

2009-11-04T12:56:00.000-08:00

A commercial for New Moon just popped on the televison. I told my brother to shield his eyes and run. He quickly replied in saying, 'It's too late. My IQ just dropped to a dangerous level.' My brother is 8. I've never been prouder of him.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Once you showed me that life was worth living,
But you never showed me that you’re worth forgiving.

Toothpaste

2009-10-28T13:07:00.001-07:00

Today I came home to see some Bratz toothpaste on the table. My mom had gotten it for my little brother, who is 8, because it was on special. After a breif argument, she allowed my sister and I to cover the tube with ducktape and write MANLY TOOTHPASTE on it. Never in all my life have I had so much fun on a tube of toothpaste. MLIA
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Once you showed me that life was worth living,
But you never showed me that you’re worth forgiving.

Anatidaephobia

2009-10-16T12:42:00.000-07:00

Today I was reading on MLIA about Anatidaephobia, the fear that a duck is watching you. I laughed, but looked around me anyways, just to be sure. On the kitchen table behind me was my little sister's rubber duck facing me. I am mildly concerned. MLIA
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Once you showed me that life was worth living,
But you never showed me that you’re worth forgiving.

Here's how my shittastic day went:

2009-10-16T12:01:00.000-07:00

For the 47th time since the beginning of the school year, I was made fun of for what I wear/ how I act/the sound of my voice etc. Then I got two math books, three wads of paper, seventeen pencils and 4 notebooks thrown at me and our teacher didn't do anything. I wasn't about to go whinning to him, but I wish he'd made them cut it out.
Someone tried to slam my locker ON MY HEAD while I was digging around in it. Instead they crushed my hand and I now have a large bruise on my neck where the edge of the metal locker came in contact. It is currently dark green.
My head is pounding and my stomach is imploding.
I nearly got detention from my orchestra teacher today for something I didn't do. The same thing happened in science and gym (and the person who did the bad stuff was goign to let me take the fall all three times, because it was the same person over and over again).
Stupid perverts kept grabbing at me in the halls. They made crude noises at me as I passed.
My social studies teacher stepped on my hands while I was leaned over (this wasn't his fault) AFTER someone crushed my hand in my locker.
Last night stupid people ding-dong-ditched my house until 10 in the evening, and the girl who did it came up to me in school and told me that it was her. Then she slapped me and called me a bitch. I'm about to ram a fireplace poker down her throat.

That was my day. Yay.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Once you showed me that life was worth living,
But you never showed me that you’re worth forgiving.

Bella Rant

2009-10-14T12:29:00.001-07:00

Yes, you read the title correctly. Since Bella and me are still rocky, I feel it needed to bash Bella Swan in Twilight before I really begin to care about what my Bella tells me.

Bella: Where do I begin to describe Bella? You can tell right off the bat that you'll hate Bella. She is whinny and likes to alienate herself from people who try to be friendly, overobsess over a freak in biology class, and is determined to be as stubbornly antisocial as possible. Although she is made out to be plan and unattractive, she quickly attracts all the boys in her class and make every girl in the grade jealous because they wanted to date the boys that are 'in love' with Bella. Brown hair, brown eyes, unattractive; that sounds like HERMIONE GRANGER to me, if you ask me. And if you don't ask me, well, what the hell are you doing on my blog, plz?

Yes, we understand that her truck is orange. Please, let's move on. No one gives a fuck about the old junker. We realize that it's tough and could go through a nuclear war without a scratch and protected her from getting squished, now could we please advance in the plot? Please?

Kirsten Stewart, who is the actress for Bella, is not talented. She is not cool, she is not pretty, she cannot act, she has no emotions, she is monotonous and nobody likes her. The movie begins with her picking up a cactus (which has more talent than she does but does not appear in the movie for the rest of the duration) and joining her mother and step-father in the car to go to Forks. For the rest of the movie, she insits that she is not pretty, nor interesting, obsessing over Edward, who gave her a funny look in class, which triggered 'love' in her to make her swoon whenever he gets too near.

The movie could've been 10 times better if they got a good person to play Bella. Stewart just can't get this whole acting thing down. If you've ever seen Zathera, Stewart plays the older sister, and she is a good actress there. So what in the Lord's name made her have to dumb down her act further to be Bella. I thought Bella was supposed to be 'passionate' around Edward, not blank and dumb and monotonous.

Oh. And let's not forget that Kirsten is a

POT HEAD.

Seriously, the only thing that could've made the movie worse was a druggie Edward and a pot-head Bella. 'I've got a black lung, Pop." I cant wait until her parents find out that she's a sexually crazed pot head. I will laugh when she is grounded and sent to her room for being a bad girl, and when she throws a tantrum and says that she'll 'Never forgive you for this, Mommy and Daddy!' and storm off to her car and drives away just to show how adulty she is.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Once you showed me that life was worth living,
But you never showed me that you’re worth forgiving.

Emoness BEGONE!!

2009-10-09T13:58:00.000-07:00

Jesus Christ, I'm done being emo! Yaaaay!! Sadly, I have nothing to talk about. You'll have to listen to me being not emo some other time...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Once you showed me that life was worth living,
But you never showed me that you’re worth forgiving.

I've never been more pissed off with her in my life.

2009-09-27T10:57:00.000-07:00

Bella. Godfuckingdammit. She thinks that hugging me will make up for it. She doesn't get it. How could she? She doesn't get that it's painful for me to be around her and I don't want to be around her but she still doesn't leave me the fuck alone!

She came up to me today and said, "I don't care how pissed you are at me, I'm still going to give you a hug..." or something to that effect. Does she not realize that when someone's pissed with them, you don't give them a hug? You stay out of their way. Duh. Stupid ass....

I don't want to talk to her. I'm still hallucinating and she doens't give a shit. Because who cares? I'm too weird for her to hang out with me. So fuck.

Yes. I am this pissed about it. I don't want her right now.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Once you showed me that life was worth living,
But you never showed me that you’re worth forgiving.

Halloween

2009-09-19T08:16:00.000-07:00

Me 'n' Alyss are going to be asylum breakouts this year for Halloween. I don't care about the candy. I want to scare some little kid.

Here's my to-do list for this Halloween, and I want to get at least one of the many done before October:

~Actually tell my parents about this devious plan.

~Get my mom to make or buy me a straight jacket that can hook and unhook the arms and looks fairly authentic. Maybe get her to make a second one for Alyss. But she's probably on her own.

~Convince my mother to let me get these contacts for Halloween (this or the next one are agruably going to be the most difficult and may not even happen...)

~Convince my mother to let me buy a dreadlock wig. I'm excited for this one and might wear it on the last day of school if I find one and look nice in it. No, I don't need a dreadlock wig...but I find dreadlocks sexy and straight jackets sexy soooooo....ja.

It's gonna be an expensize Halloween...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Once you showed me that life was worth living,
But you never showed me that you’re worth forgiving.

Alyss

2009-09-18T18:31:00.000-07:00

I'm going to invite Alyss over tomorrow, and we will go to Marsh, and I plan to buy a king-sized chocolate bar and give it to a little kid. Then I'll sit and wait for karma to come and hit me like a lead balloon.

No. I'm not kidding. I'm serious.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Once you showed me that life was worth living,
But you never showed me that you’re worth forgiving.

Dead Squirrels

2009-09-18T18:23:00.000-07:00

I traced a dead squirrel with chalk today. I felt very sad and then buried it in our abandoned neighbor's yard. I'm so very sorry, Mr./Mrs. Squirrel.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Once you showed me that life was worth living,
But you never showed me that you’re worth forgiving.

Yearbooks are sources of sadness.

2009-09-18T18:02:00.000-07:00

In last year's yearbook, I was reading some comments people left me. I came across one I had never seen from a person I had never met, and I strongly think it's a person who stole my yearbook. The note was written in Spanish. The phrase was: Si usted había tomado español este año, usted sabría lo que esto le dice bastardo estúpido. I have not taken Spanish since grade school, and none of the people I talk to know Spanish, and I didn't want to go to the Spanish teacher about it because what if she had written it and said something not nice and was going to lie to me about it?

Yes. I was really this paranoid about this random scribbling in my yearbook.

So I went online and looked it up. It translates to this: If you had taken Spanish this year, you would know what this says you stupid bastard.

I was very sad.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Once you showed me that life was worth living,
But you never showed me that you’re worth forgiving.

I'm losing my sanity.

2009-09-18T17:53:00.000-07:00

I have never wanted to glue googly eyes to anything more than I want to to my father's forehead while he's taking a nap tomorrow afternoon. However, I don't think he'll appreciate my brand of humor. I should take some googly eyes to Ariana's house next time I go and glue them to the back of her dad's head. because her dad is bald and something has to take up that open space. Maybe I'll take a magic marker and draw a happy face too. That would be funny.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Once you showed me that life was worth living,
But you never showed me that you’re worth forgiving.

My English teacher is a rock star.

2009-09-18T17:42:00.000-07:00

Mr. Dodd, if you ever find my blog, I want you to know that I am freaking in love with you. Like, I don't want to date you. But you're awesome. But if you want to date me, that'd be cool. And also a little creepy. But you know what? You're awesome. So anyway.

Oh wow. I completely lost track of what I was going to say. But seriously? Mr. Dodd, you are a rock star. Or an awesome person. You are an awesome rock star.

Um. I'll get back to all of you if I remember what I was going to say about Mr. Dodd.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Once you showed me that life was worth living,
But you never showed me that you’re worth forgiving.

I have never been so fucking amused with orange juice.

2009-09-18T17:37:00.000-07:00

Today at school I was reading the side of my friend's orange juice carton because I was bored. I was reading the nutrition facts and began to laugh. Hysterically. They all looked at me like I was crazy and I showed them what made me laugh so hard:

Sugars: 0mg

My life is complete. I took a pen and wrote an exclamation point after the 0mg. Then Ashley threw it away. D:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Once you showed me that life was worth living,
But you never showed me that you’re worth forgiving.

BoredomdomdomDOM!!

2009-09-15T12:28:00.000-07:00

I'm bored. I was checking all my bookmarked blogs, and no one has posted in at least three days *coughAlysscough*. And then I realized 'If I'm bored with people not posting on their blogs, maybe you people are bored at me not posting on MY blog!!'

Holycrap!! But I don't know if I have anything to....Nope. Nothing to talk about. Sorry.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Once you showed me that life was worth living,
But you never showed me that you’re worth forgiving.

Setting things straight.

2009-09-13T14:36:00.000-07:00

I've gotten knowledge from a not-so secretive friend that Bella is 'worried about me' because i sound 'depressed'. Apparently, life has to be perfect every single friggen second of her life, and everyone has to be friggen perfect for her, because if it's not, than that person is depressed.

I want to set it straight. I am NOT depressed, thanks, but when you talk about me behind my back and tell people I am, yeah, I'd say I'm licenced to get pretty pissed off and whomsoever was doing her little gossip-gossip. If you don't think I am....well, you can just go now, okay? *shoo away* Go on. Shoo. Shoo!

But anyways. She told this not so secretive friend (her name is classified for reasons unsaid, but I like to call her Chibi because she's short and cute) that she was worried about me and that I sounded so depressed and upset about every damn thing that happens in my life. Well, you know fucking what? Yes, I am pretty upset at what's been going down. I mean, I get enough crap from people in school, telling me how not awesome and not totally rad I am, and I'm used to it because I hate those people anyway and they can burn in fire and brimstone forever. But with Bella? Well damn! How bad is it when your thought-to-be friend talks about you behind your back? Notfun.

I know what Bella's thinking right now, because I'm a mindreader; 'I didn't do anything wrong! I thought I was doing what was right because I'm a good friend and I'm worried about you!'

Ha. Yeah. No. Like, that's a fail right there. That is a failpie right in the face. That...is despicable. She thinks that she's helping and she's not. She's making this 'depression' worse.

And Bella. If you're even reading this, I stand by what I said before: If you call me, I will hang up. If you try to talk to me on Sunday, I will walk into the boy's bathroom or out of the church. Don't talk to me right now, Bella. I really don't have the patience to deal with it right now.

That is all.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Once you showed me that life was worth living,
But you never showed me that you’re worth forgiving.

Alyss is here, everyone.

2009-09-11T15:10:00.000-07:00

Alyss is over here for the night. We're gonna go see a football game. Bye.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Once you showed me that life was worth living,
But you never showed me that you’re worth forgiving.

Oshit I'm posting so damn much today! For gossake!

2009-09-03T12:50:00.000-07:00

I'm just bored, kay?

Holy crap. What is my deal? Why do I have such long posts. Seriously, it's rediculous! This one is short. I know I'm awesome!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Once you showed me that life was worth living,
But you never showed me that you’re worth forgiving.

ADHD

2009-09-03T12:18:00.001-07:00

I know that someone reading this right now knows who I am and had hung out with me at least once. Well, eight out of ten times, I'm normal, very tired, hungry, sarcastic, spacey Siobhan Seamus Whelan. But that two out of ten times...well, I'm totally ADHD. Ask Alyss or Kirame or Lemur or someone. They'll tell you that when the mood hits me right, I go wild.

Example. Today in English class. I was totally dying of hunger and thirst (because I have a cold) and boredom. So I looked over at Kirame and started playing with her hair, which I think really freaked her out. It would me. But I lost interest in that in the first ten seconds and started fiddling with the rubber duck she has on her lanyard. Then she acted like it was attacking me. Then I ate it.

Not really. I think I would be in the emergency room dying of asphyxiate-ness. But I'm not. I just chewed on the head. And she was like 'Don't eat it!!' And I didn't.

And we switched around everything at the lunch table. Yes, that's a big deal for me. It totally sent me for a trip. I was sitting next to newgirlCassidy and when I look up, MIKEY is sitting there!! What the fuck? I mean, Mikey is awesome and everything, but he's no Kirame (who usually sits in front of me)! So I just stared at him for the longest time.

On my side of the table, from left to right, it goes Anna, me, newgirlCassidy, and Syhma. On the other side, it's Twitchy, Kirame, Alyss and Mickey. TODAY it was, from left to right on my side, Symha, me, newgirlCassidy and Alyss. On the other side was Twitchy, Mickey, Kirame and Anna. What the f?

No, but seriously? Everyone hates Anna. I don't know why we put up with her. Half the time I was to slap her because she ALWAYS has to know what we're talking about, ALWAYS has to know if we still like her, ALWAYS has to tell us that she hates us, ALWAYS has to put her opinion into our conversation, even if it's got nothing to do with her. Seriously, it doesn't sound bad when I type it out, but GOD... I don't know why we let her sit with us. It's because, I think, we had to. We're not allowed to exclude people from sitting with us because that's discrimination and that's a bad thing. Which pisses me off. She shoudl go sit with her stupid giggling friends and let us eat without her screaming at us to stop talking about her. She's actually threated to kill me if I talk about her.

Da hell. I'm used to people talking about me behind my back because, well, they're going to amuse themselves until they get shot in the head. So when she goes and screams at me across the room: 'IM GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU!' it makes me laugh. Like. Hell. I'm just tired of the douche...

Gah. Stress ball. You is one.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Once you showed me that life was worth living,
But you never showed me that you’re worth forgiving.

MMMMMMMMMMMM hai

2009-09-03T12:01:00.000-07:00

Hey. I've been depressed lately. Don't judge me.

Um. I totally forgot what I was going to say. Shit... Uh, let's see. I already told you about my epiphany with Saw II right? I'm sure I did... *checks other posts* Yep, I did. So...I don't know what I was so happy to tell you guys...

OH ja! Now I remember!! I'm on page 210 on my second novel!

210!!

Like, holy crap!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Once you showed me that life was worth living,
But you never showed me that you’re worth forgiving.

I wanna talk to her.

2009-09-02T13:06:00.000-07:00

I had a dream last night. Bella read the post where I said I was pissed off at her. She cried like hell and I couldn't console her, but what was scary was I kinda didn't want to. It was a weird dream.

Oh well. Still majorly pissed off with her.

Once you showed me that life was worth living,
But you never showed me that you’re worth forgiving.

New Shiggeh

2009-09-02T13:03:00.000-07:00

Once you showed me that life was worth living,
But you never showed me that you’re worth forgiving.

Teh Shiz: Moving down the Slope

2009-09-01T15:34:00.000-07:00

Ever notice how when you change one letter in a word, it makes a completley diffrent word? Oh yes:

then-n+m=them

Yes, this is what I do on Tuesday nights before Hell's Kitchen is on. Because I love that show.

Le gasp!! Have any of you seen the box for Saw II? I doubt you have. I like those movies, and the first time I saw the box cover was like two days before school started...then again, I'm just developing a taste for the gore that is Saw, so that might not be so unusual...'Nyway, on the box of Saw II (um, by the way...that double letter at the end? That is not eye eye. That is the Roman numeral for 2~), there are two severed fingers; if I had to guess, I'd say it's the ring finger and the middle finger, just because it would make me giggle if the middle finger was popped up on the box and no one noticed...except for me an Kirame...but I digress.

MMKAY!! On the box of Saw II, there are two severed fingers sitting side-by-side. I was thinking about it last night when I couldn't sleep, and I had a life-changing epiphany! The two fingers might represent the 2 in Saw II. That never occured to me. So I told Kirame today during school about my suspicions, and she was like 'Ummmm, yeah, that's kind of what it was there for...did you seriously just figure that out?'

Well damn! I'm just so unobservant. Which is odd. I am the most observant of all my buddybuddies. Um, as far as I know, none of the other Saw movies have a clever little finger thing on the box. Which is good. Because, um, then it'd get boring.

Kirame, you are a special, special girl.

Weird Mood.

2009-08-31T17:38:00.000-07:00

Damn. Please ignore that last post. It was a terrible depression for several days. No, but seriously? I still feel like crap. I haven't really been able to down anything except for ginger ale in the past few days. I ate a lot at lunch today (got like 7 sides) and as soon as I got home I went to the bathroom and puked it up. quite violently, might I add. I feel good when I eat something, and then it turned very, very painful.

I'm almost certainly losing my mind. I'm losing it and I feel it going...and no one really seems to grasp what a painfully awkward and frightening subject that is. Bella thinks its just weird, which actually hurts; it hurts like getting punched, because it's like she doesn't even care. I'm losing my friggen mind and all she can think about is how it's so 'not normal.'

But seriously, I'm pretty pissed off at her right now. She's probably reading this and thinking 'Oh God, what'd I do to make her so mad, I need to call her or talk to her on Sunday and make her tell me!!' No. If you call me, I will hang up. If you try to talk to me on Sunday, I will walk into the boy's bathroom or out of the church. Don't talk to me right now, Bella. I really don't have the patience to deal with it right now. My hallucinations listen to me better than you do, and I don't want to talk about my feelings to you like I did last time, because you made fun of me. And my hallucinations aren't even real.

Gah. Quail's singing to the song I'm listening to. He's tone deaf.

I wanna cry but I don't have any tears left. I cried a lot in school, and it was right after first period. Shit life...Went into the bathroom and cried a little bit, then went into a stall and cried some more. Then when I got into Algebra, I had to lie to everyone and tell them I had really strong allergies so they'd leave me alone. God, I felt so terrible today. I can't even breath through my nose, it's so stuffed up. I don't feel well. I just don't feel well.

Quail disappeared for about two weeks, for anyone who cared. Apperently he was at the bowling alley, laughing at people who missed the pins and pulling obsene faces at some questionable looking teenagers. I wish I could've been there. Its better than being at school...Anything is better than being at school at the moment. I used to not mind going to school, but now is terrible. I thought about skipping class so I could cry in the bathrooms. But that's not a very good idea.

I am very tired. I swear, school's getting longer. And I have an Algerbra quiz tomorrow. But I was transfered from Pre-Al to Al just today, so I'm going to fail because that bitch Poisel won't give me a goddamn book and I can't udnerstand anything she utters. Damn. So I'm going to fail.

I honestly miss Joseph and Scott. I love them both. But I can hug Joe without feeling awkward, because... I think we're still dating. But I don't know if we every started.

Damn...

2009-08-28T15:46:00.000-07:00

Damn. Double damn! I haven't posted at all lately. I recall posting almost twice a day a few summers ago. Damn...

Maybe I'm going insane. I don't know. But I feel like it. Maybe it's because everything feels like torture, ever since I got home from Tennessee in the middle of summer this year. I have no idea why, but it's killing me. Everything I do seems to depress me. Like, I can't laugh truly with my friend anymore. It makes me hurt on the inside, like I'm really really hungry and haven't eaten in a while. I can't hug Bella like I used to, because that makes my chest burn, like having heartburn or something that oldpants get when they become olderpants. My chest burns a lot lately. Even when I'm talking with Alyss, it makes my chest burn like it's on fire, and I can't breathe very well, and...and it makes me very sad. Last year we talked really well and easily and now I'm struggling to find what she'll like me saying and what will upset her...And well never mind.

And I'm always hungry. But when I eat, I feel very sick for a very long time, and when the sick feeling goes away, the hunger comes back, and when I finally give into it and eat, I feel pukey sick again.

My head is constantly in pain; it's not just pounding, it's full on scorching migrains that make me want to stab a pencil through my eye just to get me to think about something else. Physical agony is the only way I can distract myself from the painful, sick, burning feeling that I get on and off. It's torture. Mentally straining my own sanity seems to help too. I'm too sadistic to talk to people about my upsetness. They would tell me to see a shrink, to talk to someone but not them, because they don't have time for my stupid problems, they have enough to worry about with their damn lives.

Then again...I know Alyss and Kirame would listen. They'd listen, and even if I told them that I was a brain sucking alien from some distance galaxy and didn't have a belly button, they'd listen. Because they're like that. It was a rare and lucky find for me to discover them. I was lucky. They're probably the only ones who hold me from going round the bend. Probably the only reason I haven't stabbed myself in the leg with a pair of Crayola scissors just to see how much I'll bleed.

I'm afraid of that pain, though. I'll suffer physical and mental agony just as long as my skin isn't broken and I don't see all that blood.

Gah. I'm revolted by my own whining. No one should give a fuck about how I feel just as long as their happy. Damn, I hope Alyss doesn't read this and get all depressed. That would depress me to no end.

Sorry to bore you all with my jabbering. My bad.

Picking up the slack...

2009-08-16T06:13:00.000-07:00

Sorry that I havent blogged much lately. I really try to, I just don't get around to getting it done...I'll have more to blog about when school starts, I promise. My friends are just too weird to not have anything to blog about. And I'll see what I can do about...other stuff... Sorry again, rabid readers. If I had a subject to blog about I would. Promise.

Ack, melting!

2009-08-16T06:06:00.000-07:00

I have no idea. Seriously, no idea.

Alyss. Have to call Aylss today. Last day of summer. Big fucking whoop...

I'm glad you're all here.

2009-08-14T05:21:00.001-07:00

I don't have any friends, so I'm glad you're reading this...because i have no one to talk to.

Summer Sadnessness....ness.

2009-08-14T05:14:00.001-07:00

As the last days of summer come winding down to an end, I realized that there was one thing that I never got around to doing this summer: MY SUMMER AP ENGLISH HOMEWORK...

OMS.

Lycanthrope Topic: Jasper Vampyren's powers.

2009-08-06T07:32:00.000-07:00

Jasper is initially introduced in Lycanthrope in chapter 9, along with Molly. He is described as a tall teenager (roughly 15/16) who 'wore a hat atop his silver head, and there was a rip in the brim, which let a large, black eyes stare through at her. He wore a straitjacket that bound his arms to his shoulders with a black cross over his chest. The jackets possessed a multitude of flaps, clasps and other such items to keep his arms in place. He wore all white except for his knee-high boots. His navel was wrapped in thick gauze and was stained with blood that was still red, but dry. His silvery hair flopped over his right eye, and his left eye was a pale red color.'

The reason for the belts and straight jacket are never revealed.

Jasper's powers are wildly ranged and unpredictable. He is initially shown with the powers to turn invisible, telepathy, telekinesis and the ability to read minds. As the books progress, he reveals the power to shut down the brains of up to a dozen people within a mile's radius and, once, the albility to stop time for a short while.

Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm kay

2009-08-06T07:14:00.001-07:00

Uh, hai.

Please don't be mad at me. I know I've not been blogging much. Sorry. That's my bad. But still. It's no good.

HOLY SHIT!!

2009-07-26T11:09:00.001-07:00

I IS THREEWAYCALLING WITH ASHLEY AND ALYSS!!!! WHEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!

Oh shit, she's back. Hide the axes and hatchests!

2009-07-25T18:04:00.000-07:00

Ello! I is back, and I now have the knowledge of using a weed wacker, an ax, hedge clippers, and a paintbrush. Exciting, right? No, but seriously, I've decided that i really need to beef up this school year; I'll convince Alyss to get into boxing with me and we can hang out. That'd be cool, if there was another boxing class going on. If not, I guess I'll just box on my own; I'll hit a tree. Oh what an environmentalist I am. No particular reason. I just need to lose weight and if I do that, I might as well gain some muscle, ja? So wish me luck...

Ello!

2009-07-17T17:02:00.000-07:00

So, let's talk time. I won't be posting for the next week or so...like that's new. But I'll be in Tennessee, so I kind of have no access to a computer. Sorry kids.

Oh yes. There will be blood.

2009-07-17T09:07:00.000-07:00

The tee shirt from Goodwill never lies. Other than the fact that I couldn't type in the web address to my own blog today. But the tee shirt doesn't need to know that. Please excuse me while I go devour some meat.

Hi thar.

2009-07-17T09:01:00.000-07:00

Hi again! No. I have nothing to tell you other than I am really bored and want to talk to someone who isn't a figment of my crazed imagination (*cough*Quail*cough*).

In other news...Micheal Jackson has died. I hope you're all aware of that now. If you aren't, you've been living under a rock for the past month. Are rocks nice to live under? Oh, and Billy Mays is dead too. Did you know that? I bet not.

Um. Um. UM! Yep. Drawing a blank.

Damn

2009-07-16T09:45:00.001-07:00

Well damn! Look how much I've blogged in the last few weeks! Serious fail. I guess I need a lot more crap to blog about. There's not much... Well, let's recap the crap I've done in the past month or so...Shall we?

Well, let's see. I've been drawing a lot, sleeping not a lot. Basically that's all that's been going on much. I'm going to Mountain T.O.P next week.
You don't know what Mountain T.O.P is, do you? Haha looser. No, but seriously, I guess I'll explain because I have nothing else to talk about.
Mountain T.O.P is a place in Tennessee where you help build stuff for people who can't. You have to wear jeans and big boots all the time and it's about 81 degrees all the time. :D Hmm, it doesn't sound like a lot of fun, but I guess it is, because everyone who goes always comes back raving that it's fun. That, or they've all suffered extensive heat stroke and have no idea what's going on. Anyway...

In other news, Coraline comes out on the 21st of July. I'm very excited about this. If you've seen the film, you know why. It's one of the most amzing films that I've ever seen. As unbelievable as it is, Coraline was not directed by the guy who created Nightmare_Before_Christmas. I thought so too. However, it's not as...off as Nightmare is. But that's cool.

Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...what else has been going on? Nuthin.

shroom

2009-07-15T13:01:00.001-07:00

HARRY'S ON SHROOM!!

LOL plz

2009-06-25T18:15:00.000-07:00

Lycanthrope Topice: Quail+Tess=Felix

2009-06-25T07:43:00.000-07:00

It's come to my attention that Quail and Tess, two formerly deceased characters in my novel, are very much alike. I'll attempt to show my thinking in the following post. Be patient with me.

HOMICIDAL

Both Quail and Tess have been certified as insane and homicidal. Quail kills and murders others because he feels that it's his purpose in life, and if he should ever stop, he would simply cease to exist (also there'd be a whole lot more jackasses in the world). Tess kills because it fulfills some inner pleasure that she has. Vivisection is not without its victims, I suppose... But the killings are well justified if you look into it.

Quail has been told and taught that killing people is something that one should not feel upset about, and it's just another way to survive. Killing is as normal as us eating a steak for him. He's also had to defend himself and the people he loves from people who want to hurt him to the point of having to kill them. Jack's taught him that killing the people that he hates will make him better.

Tess, on the other hand, simply needs a knife and an open field with a lot of people in it to go wild. However, her actions are not without reason. Pathologically, she cuts people open to study them because of her intense curiosity of human organs and nerves. The fact that she's so obsessed with this gives one the impression that she kills just for sport. Untrue. She kills mainly for self-defense, and what's the point of leaving a body out just lying on the ground?

INSANITY

Both Tess and Quail are insane, but the reason and effects of the insanity are very different.

Tess, for example, is much more mellow (mellower?) when insane, as it gives her a clearer view of reality. Normally, she is erratic and terrifying, but under the influence of her own insanity she has been given clear life and emotions.

Quail, justly insane after a long spiral and the death of his father and brother. Under Jack's lead, the insanity was given root and grew in Quail, making it nearly impossibly for him to see the world as it is. He also hallucinated and heard voices screaming at him. His one true solace before the insanity had been the deep caverns of his mind; once that solace was gone, and Felix too, he truly became unhinged and could no longer grasp modern concepts. The insanity lead to a great chain of deaths led by Jack, who encouraged Quail's insanity up to his own demise because of it.

FELIX

Both Tess and Quail are numerously spotted in the act of showing affectiong to Felix. While Tess shows an obvious and passionate sexual affection towards him, Quail has shown both fatherly and loving affection towards him throughout his apperences. Among them is the permission of Quail for Felix to kiss him and the continuous permission to allow them to sleep in the same bed.

My First Book Review: Twilight

2009-06-20T06:02:00.001-07:00

Warning Spoilers and if you like the book fuck off!

I hate to be blatant about it, but really, people, the book went downhill pretty damn fast. The first few chapters were pretty good, and they were readable with burning my eyes out. But after she met EDDY-POO you could tell that Meyer wanted the book done, or at least the rest of use did. I skimmed a lot of the book for the first time (two years ago) and then when be book became really popular, I tried it again. Meyers tends to drag on and on over little details, most of which we don't care about.

Yes. We understand that Edward's eyes are golden. Yes. We understand Bella's truck is orange. Let's move on, shall we?

The reason people think the series is so good is the amount of fanbase that you see in it. People expect that it'll be this great American classic, and if it's not than you add everything that you want in with your mind.

The book was decent. But I have read much better. Harry Potter, for example, is an awesome book for anyone, even if they aren't fond of magic. Twilight is a decent book, as I have said; I have read much worse than it. It has enrapturing suspense, but not good diction or word choice. If I could critique Meyers, I would tell her to lay off on the adjectives, dear God.
Bella stroked Edward's adj. adj. adj. adj. adj. hair while Edward put his adj. adj. adj. adj. adj. finger to her adj. adj. adj. adj. lips.

I don't blame Meyers' for much of my irritation, just the Bestseller's list and the Twilight fans.

Thanks for reading my review. There should be more soon.

Daw crap

2009-06-18T11:53:00.000-07:00

I need to start posting better. I have the time to, I just don't have anything to blog about.

It's time for joy unto the earth...I'm blogging again.

2009-06-16T11:01:00.001-07:00

I think I'll blog about my novel a lot in the next few weeks, because I don't want to work on my summer homework.

I mowed the law today.

2009-06-14T16:49:00.000-07:00

I mowed my lawn today for the first time ever. It was hot and I was sweating, but it was surprisingly fun. I really enjoyed myself because I could show off mah biceps (flexes cool upper arm muscles). Ah ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. Not really. But, I don't mean to brag; I have some lethal lookin' and punchin' muscles in my arms. My calf muscles are equally ripped but I couldn't use them very well whilst mowing. Well, I guess that I'm lucky that I could even push the damn mower. That's when I discovered that the front wheels could propel themselves thank to electricity. Damn you, deceptive lawn mower.

In one post

2009-06-11T14:24:00.001-07:00

In one post, I will have my 210th post in this blog. I forgot about the 200th post, so I'll be celebrating my 210th with something special. I don't know what, but I will. Or not, Yea, probably not. I'll hold out for my 250th post...because I'm lazy.

Do you love him? ^

2009-06-10T07:58:00.000-07:00

I'm sure you My Chemical Romance people will like my new banner across the top of the screen. Say hello and be nice.

Damn it's been a long time....

2009-06-10T07:01:00.001-07:00

sorry bout that. I've been in a slump since school let out almost a week ago. I actually haven't wanted to do much of anything, but I've been bored out of my mind for the past few days. So I guess I'll just have to do that book report I have to do before I get into Honors English next year. Whatever, I'll procrastinate some more and rant randomly.

It's been a little while since I last posted something intelligent, right? The 28th of May, when I was making fun of Edward Cullen/Robert Pattenson or whatever the hell you call him now. Eddy-poo. I got in trouble for cutting K. Stewart out of the picture of Eddy-poo laughing hysterically from Bella. I don't really care. I don't worship the ground K. Stewart walks on. Then again, I don't think Bella does either. But I don't know. She might. I am not my Bella's keeper.

Em...what else can I talk about? Oh, ja, if you haven't seen my deviantArt account yet (youfailatlifejustsayin') go see it here. That would be nice. Because I'm very bored and depressed not getting people to see it. I think Bella used to go see it, but now she doesn't because she might not like my stuff anymore because I stopped caring about Twilight and anything Twi-related.

So just fuck it.

2009-06-05T15:40:00.000-07:00

Fuck the community. Fuck the world. Fuck everything that couldn't happen.

Oh so random.

INSPARATION PLZ

2009-05-28T14:03:00.000-07:00

Just have to say, I need some inspiration for a short story. Any ideas? Please...I need some help here, peeps.

I don't like Edward usually but...

2009-05-28T12:03:00.000-07:00

Am I the only one who thinks Eddy-poo looks like a turtle here? And his hair reminds me of Mufasa's mane from The Lion King. And I wonder why he doesn't grow out a beard. That would be pretty; it would go with his hobo jacket (which I want to steal and wear to school. Is that a bad thing?). I wonder what he was looking at? Maybe he had a sudden epiphany that Laurent was much hotter than he was. I hope so. That would be nice for me.

Um...just so you know, Edward, I don't care how many pearly whites you show me. I will not laugh along. Because, er, I think you're about to have a heart attack. Just saying. You had to eat the whole cow to make that leather jacket...so I think that you ate a cow and you're about to die. Maybe you think that's funny because you play an undead vampire, but you should probably crawl into a fetal position in a few seconds so you experience minimum hair trauma on your fall. Because that hair is insured for more than my entire house is. It's insured that it always made it out of scary actions scenes completely unscathed. Um, that might be why he's going to have a heart attack, aside from the fact that he ate a cow; his hair is out of place. Will it kill him? Um, probably not. But it's good to hope for your dreams to come true, isn't it? *crosses fingers* And, uh, one more thing: Did you ever notice how thin your eyes get when you open your mouth too wide? I did. It freaks me out a little.

Thanks to Bella for this wonderful picture.

2009-05-25T06:20:00.000-07:00

God, but I love him. Those dreadlocks look more authentic right now, from where I'm sitting...standing...something. He also looks sexyfine in that purple jacket and those fingerless gloves. I want to give him a hug...and take him home...and give him big hugs. Love!!! I wish there were more good pictures of him. *sigh*

Time for fun Twilight-making-fun-of-them-moments!! With Siobhan (but no one cares about me).

2009-05-22T13:11:00.001-07:00

Hugging children...kissing babies...wearing that snazzy hat to play bingo with old people...Kellan for president!!!

M'kay. So Jackson looks just like one of my neighbors. But I'm pretty sure Micheal is not a movie star. Nor does he play a very hot yet extremely pained vampire...with sexy blond wavy hair. But that's okay. Because I still gave him a kiss on the cheek while he was asleep when I was seven and cherish that moment forever (ntrly). I would love it if that one blond kid behind him would stop checking him out. That would be nice. And if Jackson would come to my school and talk to me and give Alyss a kiss...my life would be complete after that. As long at that blond kid with teh coconut-hair stopped looking at Jackson's butt. Oh...and if Jackson didn't wear bellbottom jeans. That would be nice.......

Kaythnxbai.

It was Haru-cow's fault, I promise.

2009-05-22T12:56:00.000-07:00

MUST CONTROL WILL!!!

Bambi=blood. Because that comes to mind every time I see deer. Yep.

IT IS ALL HARU'S FAULT!!

With that mask? I'd run too.

2009-05-22T12:54:00.000-07:00

Haru and Laurent Cow

2009-05-21T14:35:00.000-07:00

The white and black one is Haru-cow. The brown one is Laurent-cow. Oh, the irony!! Anyway...something that seems to be something that Haru would do to himself...get his head stuck in a little car...and Laurent'll just look on...secretly smirking...in the inside.

Fail. Just FAIL.

2009-05-21T14:28:00.000-07:00

Yep. We chose our president REALLY well (for all you slow people I'm using very heavy sarcasm in that statement).

Jackson thinking his heart is in his stomach. The source of brilliance.

Someone asked me...

2009-05-20T12:07:00.000-07:00

Someone asked me the other day:

Someone: Siobhan, what dazzles you? I know Edward dazzles me. Who dazzles you?
Me:............Edi Gathegi's teeth.
Someone: Excuse me?
Me: They dazzle me. See, you only have one thing to dazzle you. I have 32 full teeth of beatiful-whitness to dazzle me. You just got served. In a bowl. With a spoon. Floatin' in milk!

Nuthin to say but pwned.

That's me...but in Twilight!

2009-05-20T12:04:00.000-07:00

I shall steal his hat. And make it my own.

2009-05-20T12:02:00.000-07:00

Edi has himself some sexyfine dreadlocks.

2009-05-20T11:59:00.001-07:00

Random Bouts of hysteria because she googled Edi Gathegi

2009-05-19T16:53:00.000-07:00

I want him. Not even going to lie.

I am loving this suit on him. Even when you can only

see his head. I love his head. *hug*

Okay, that' s better. Loving that suit. And his fang-hair beard

And his fine afro-bob thing. Yep.

Have I ever told you how much I love that beanie? I do.

FcePlm4u

2009-05-14T13:35:00.001-07:00

Lycanthrope Topic: Laurent Vandavarn and Molly Vampyren as a couple

2009-05-10T12:05:00.000-07:00

Sorry it's been so long. I fail.

I've been getting mixed feeling about this couple for a long time by any of the people who have read my novel lately. I'm all for this couple, but I'm not all for pedophiles. Unfortunately, this cuts my Laurent+Molly=lovey-dovey fairly close to my age of dislikingness. (Laurent=23 years old, Molly=15 years old.) Although the whole 'LOVE SHALT NOT BE JUDGED BY THINE AGE' thing is not commonly referred to in this day and age.

I know that plenty of people are ready to burn anything that is remotely different from normal ethics, but what really, is the matter with a willing relationship between two people, and age doesn't matter as long as the love is pure and unvarying. I'm not talking about a clingy fangirl who gets in under her head with some huge older celebrity (meandediGathegijustsaying). I'm talking about actual love, something that two spouses would have and defined by a few of my friends as, dare I say, FAIRYTALE LOVE. Because no one breaks up or cheats in fairytales, now do they?

In the defense of many people who may or may not read ' Therianthropy', I understand where talk of Laurent comes from; many people see anyone married to a younger woman is wrong and odd.

YEE-OUCH-ZAM!!

2009-05-10T12:04:00.000-07:00

WHEN DID IT TURN MAY!?!?! IT COMPLETLY PASSED ME BY!!

Bellabellabellabella....

2009-05-09T14:47:00.002-07:00

It feels like it's been a really long time since I last spoke to Bella. I really miss her. But I might/maybe/dunno/possibilities see her tomorrow. That'd make me happy.

hi

2009-05-09T14:47:00.001-07:00

om nom nooooom noob!!!

Deep Questions:

2009-05-09T14:43:00.000-07:00

1. What's your favorite color?
2. You're stranded on a desert island. You brought one item, and now you're really irritated that you brought it. What is it?
3. Why?
4. If cats always land on their feet, and buttered toast always lands butter-side down, what happens if you strap a piece of buttered toast to a cat's back and drop it? (HOVERCATAWESOME!!!!)
5. How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

Le Gasper-Jasper!

2009-05-08T17:33:00.000-07:00

I have no idea what that title means...really, I don't.

ANYWAY...little time to talk! I'm so sorry about my absences; I've had no creative streaks for a while, and I've most been sleepiong, at school or...or trying to write my novel. Without luck, I may add. Even with my superawesomeninjawriting powers, I struggle a lot with the plot; I don't want to give a lot of equal weight to each and every subject that I have to address in the story, and if I have to do a THIRD book. Or even if my first one will be published.

And I'm so tired. 47 minutes to 3 hours ever night. Put that in your cereal and eat it. I have no idea why I haven't been sleeping well. I'm exhausted, but I can never get my brain to stop working long enough for me to have a good night's sleep. That might be why.

By the way, just so you know, Emmett-bear says hi. He's there on the right, waving to you. Don't you feel special? Emmett-Bear is 6 full years old, stands at a hefty 22 inches and yes was named after Emmett Cullen...only Emmett Bear is cooler than Emmett Cullen. He loves you all. I'll probably be posting about him a lot soon. So just be ready. Got it? Got it!?!? Why? Because he's special, goddamn you!!!

Anyway, Emmett-Bear set aside (not really, he's sitting on my lap and my head is on his lovely white bouffant) I really have to pee. I've had to pee for the last 20-45 minutes. I've really had to pee in the last four minutes. It's a good thing Emmett_Bear doesn't weigh as much as a normal bear or a normal Emmett (although he probably should weigh as much as them combined because he is them combined... Quiet, you!) because that would be really painful.

I also sprained my ankle whilst walking to school when there was a lot of rain. I fail

WAITBEFOREYOUGOIHAVESOMETHINGTOSHAREWITHTHECLASS!!!!
I got a Facebook. Joyfuljoyful LOOOOOORD, we adore thee!! (http://www.facebook.com/home.php?ref=home)

Hi

2009-05-06T12:05:00.001-07:00

I'm so tired. I think I'll just crawl in a hole and sleep for the rest of the month. Ja.

Gay rights are right!

2009-04-25T10:36:00.000-07:00

I hate it so much when people are like, 'Oh, I support gays' and then when they're faced with an actual gay person, they're like, 'Holy shit, get away from me, you freak!'. It's really annoying.

Sorry for the angry post. My bad. Just bored.

I actually always think of homosexuality between two men, not two women. But that's silly, isn't it? I think it's because homosexual males are more commons and homosexual females.

That's such a fun word to say and type; homosexual. Too bad we're not allowed to say it in school.

Blogness

2009-04-25T09:53:00.001-07:00

I'm completly changing my blog set up. Bai.

Lycanthrope Topic: Jack Skelett

2009-04-24T08:31:00.000-07:00

Among the people that I have written about in my entire life, I truly think that Jack Skelett is my least favored character. Ever. Even in Brightheart, Lostsoul and Destidra (three books I wrote prior to the Lycanthrope series) with Daisuke, I think Jack is twice as bad.

Firstly, Jack killed Tess and Felix, Victor, and eventually a lot of other people through Quail. He's a manipulative, evil, hated creature. I am a little impressed that I wrote something that I can hate so badly. Up till now, I've always had a bit of compassion and love for my characters; I've always felt that there is a speckle or crumble of good in them, a logical reason for their actions. Jack is just evil because...he's evil. He has no outward signs of needing power, but he craves the feeling of being in charge of people, having them under their control.

As much as I dislike him, I try to understand Jack as best as I can (I find it ironic that he's named after a children's game that uses a rubber ball and a dozen or so little pointy things). He's always been afraid to be under the influence of someone or something else, and this came from his father treating him very badly in Wolfsburg, Germany...two hundred million years ago (I kid, I kid, but honestly, Jack is an old piece of bacon...). As opposed to this, Victor Abend was born in Zeven, Germany, about 202km to the north of Wolfsburg. Jack was born to a family of successful businessmen and businesswomen, his father being one of the top bakers in Germany at the time. Because of malnutrition after childbirth, Jack resulted in being very thin and tall.

Jack's hunger for power has made him persuasive and quick minded, but being smart and being wise is not the same thing, no mater what the thesaurus says. Jack tends to not remember his mistakes and doesn't learn from them. He views other werewolves as tools to him and humans as little more than a moving source of food that never goes away. Someone told me once that he's seductive; and yes, I realized as I was rereading that Jack is very seductive and tries to use his charm to trick people into doing what he says. I mean, I don't know about you, but honestly, i would not be seduced by a 60+ old lycanthrope. *facepalm*

And anyway...Jack was kind of a pedophile anyway; he kept messing with Felix when they both managed to stay alive, and he did it discreetly, no one knew and Felix wasn't going to tell anyone. He was also very fond of Bshir, but whenever he tried to do stuff to Bshir, he was like 'Booooooy-yo, you be trippin'! And then of course Jack would try again later when Bshir was asleep. Jack be trippin'.

In all honestly, I want to admit that Jack was not going to be as bad as he is now when I created him. He was nice Jack...and then he just sort of fucked up on the inside and should've turned over and died but didn't because he be trippin' and such. So yeah. That damn German is like a cockroach; he doesn't die.

So What if You can See the Darkest Part of Me?

Snow=Warmer Winters

I feel a little bad about this...

My belly button is quite itchy.

For your Viewing Pleasure...

Surreal art: the mindscrew of the artist world.

You're curious, aren't you?

Look at last night's post. Now back to this post.

Clay Aiken has the ultimate sexy voice.

Hally Happoween!

Horses are Impossible!

Hi, Olivia.

My mother is a pain.

Painting Skills. I has them.

VeggieTunes are good for the soul.

Ugh.

Novel Rant-------GO!

This was a triumph. I'm making a note here--huge success.

To the Bandwagon! Away!!

Jack? Jack Skelett? No, Jack Nicholson. REDRUM!!

So I'm having this sort of day...

Ahaha!

*bracing sigh*

I'm baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack.

Things are better now.

Something's diffrent...

Gomenasai

Luna and Thana

It's been a while....

New Moon

Toothpaste

Anatidaephobia

Here's how my shittastic day went:

Bella Rant

Emoness BEGONE!!

I've never been more pissed off with her in my life.

Halloween

Alyss

Dead Squirrels

Yearbooks are sources of sadness.

I'm losing my sanity.

My English teacher is a rock star.

I have never been so fucking amused with orange juice.

BoredomdomdomDOM!!

Setting things straight.

Alyss is here, everyone.

Oshit I'm posting so damn much today! For gossake!

ADHD

MMMMMMMMMMMM hai

I wanna talk to her.

New Shiggeh

Teh Shiz: Moving down the Slope

Weird Mood.

Damn...

Picking up the slack...

Ack, melting!

I'm glad you're all here.

Summer Sadnessness....ness.

Lycanthrope Topic: Jasper Vampyren's powers.

Ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm kay

HOLY SHIT!!

Oh shit, she's back. Hide the axes and hatchests!

Ello!

Oh yes. There will be blood.

Hi thar.

Damn

shroom

LOL plz

Lycanthrope Topice: Quail+Tess=Felix

My First Book Review: Twilight

Daw crap

It's time for joy unto the earth...I'm blogging again.

I mowed the law today.

In one post

Do you love him? ^

Damn it's been a long time....

So just fuck it.

INSPARATION PLZ

I don't like Edward usually but...

Thanks to Bella for this wonderful picture.

bracing sigh